Life On The Other Side

A year ago, I was a completely different person. My world and everything familiar in it came crashing down. I was broken mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I drowned my sorrows in bitterness, overconsumption of alcohol, anger, pain, and remorse. The days were long and dark, and I was SO angry at God. I admit that I hate change that I cannot control, and God has a funny way of disrupting everything comfortable to you, stripping you of everything familiar so that you will have no choice but to rely on him.

I wanted to die. It felt like I was dying. And metaphorically, I did die. 🐛🔥

The me who didn’t have boundaries died.

The me who didn’t use her discernment died.

The me who identified more with my relationships with people rather than my relationship with God died.

The people pleaser in me died.

The woman who didn’t practice what she preached died.

The woman who had expired attachments died.

So, if those parts of me died, then why was I still so upset? Why was I so resistant? Why did I still want to cling to the parts of me that no longer served me? Why did I let the devil and his shenanigans win so many times?

The answer is simple: Because of FEAR.

Fear of the unknown.

Fear of the unfamiliar.

Fear of change.

Fear of freedom.

Fear of exploring a new identity.

Fear of getting hurt again.

Fear of life on the other side.

Fear is a tricky thing, ain’t it? And it hinders us from so many things.

It’s the reason why so many settle and don’t create the life they deserve. It’s the reason why so many are unhappy and don’t want to put the work in to get what they desire. It’s the reason why they will ignore God’s voice and warnings and cling to whatever is familiar, even when it’s unhealthy.

Now, of course, some things I endured simply because it was a part of my healing process. And the only way out of something is through it. But I do imagine that certain things would have been a bit easier to navigate if I wasn’t so against change in the first place, but I digress. 😂

365 days later, I come to you, a new person. I look different. I lost literal and figurative weight. And I think differently now. My mind is clearer, and I’ve made peace with many things that have happened over the past year.

I can finally say that I’m no longer bitter.

I can finally say that I’m no longer afraid of being free.

I can finally say that I know hurt is inevitable, but there is no reward without risk.

I can finally say that I really like my new identity. She’s fun, kind, particular, and trusts herself more than she ever has.

Me and change that I can’t control still be beefing from time to time 🤣 but I work on my acceptance every day. I just remind myself that change leads to beautiful new beginnings. There’s nothing to be afraid of.

I can finally say that there is life on the other side.

If you find yourself going through a huge transition where everything feels like one big question mark, remember this:

There’s life on the other side of heartbreak.

There’s life on the other side of bitterness.

There’s life on the other side of uncertainty.

There’s life on the other side of fear.

There’s life on the other side of whatever you’re going through, period.

Allow yourself to go through it and pray that God will carry you because He will. When you finally get to the other side, The only time I want you to look back is to reflect on how far you’ve come. Then, I want you to continue to move forward. Don’t be ashamed of who you were before; that version of you carried you to who you are now.

I’m not sure if time heals all, but I do think that being intentional, having a strong prayer life, therapy, and not giving up on yourself helps.

There’s life on the other side, and you deserve to see what that’s like.

See you soon.🦋